When we teach ESL to very young learners we may come across a little one who refuses to participate in the lessons.
Now we have to keep in mind, when they are about 3 years old, there may be a lot going on for them. It may be the first time they are away from their grown ups, it may be the first time they are in a bigger group of children ... this can be very impressive for our students.
Naturally some may be a bit reluctant to participate because they feel impressed by the whole setting and they feel shy, preferring to observe what's going on first before they even consider taking part in anything.
There are a few things you can do to help to make the children that come to your class feel more secure.
Greet them at the door
The first thing is to build a relationship and trust with the children. Greeting them at the door with a big smile, tell them how great it is to see them today and if you have time ask them a few questions like how their weekend went etc.
Have a schedule
I always have a schedule next to the door that shows pictures of what we are going to do today (circle time, book time, activity time, etc). It helps them feel more at ease to know what's coming and when the grown ups will come back to pick them up again.
Generally my schedule stays the same to make sure that I have a good routine and the children know what to expect when they come into my classroom. I'd just change the activities within the schedule. So for example I'd have "book time" always at the same time, all I'm changing obviously is the title of the book. "Activity time" will always be at the same time, I just change the kind of activity (one time it's colouring, one time painting, one time crafts etc). If I change anything ( for example going outside to the park), I'd explain to them in the lesson before that next time we will do xyz, so that the children can anticipate and be prepared for the change mentally.
Don't push
I personally don't push a child to participate in a class. I feel that it just makes them more anxious and their brain is unlikely to retain more vocabulary, leave alone that they won't enjoy the class and that may spiral down to more reluctant behaviour in the future.
Use a puppet
Have you ever used a puppet and were surprised about how shy kids suddenly speak and want to come close to the puppet ? Kids may be reluctant to speak to you or their classmates, but they would speak to the puppet and tell them their whole life story!
Allow them to bring their lovey
I allow very young learners to bring their lovey that can participate in the class with them. Especially with shy kids, it can be a mean of communication if they refuse to speak - kind of like with the puppet. Instead of asking if the child knows what "this thing is", you could ask the lovey if they know.
Respect their personality
Sometimes a children doesn't want to participate simply because they are shy.
Being shy is nothing bad and nothing that has to be corrected and shouldn't be. It's not ok to make a child believe that their personality is a "mistake". It only leads to low self esteem and low self confidence. Instead you should recognize their personality.
When I see a child is shy and she prefers to observe, I absolutely let her do so. I may invite them here and there to join, but if they don't want to, that's fine - as long as they don't disturb the other kids in the classroom.
Chiara's story
Many many moons ago, when I was still in my first years of teaching, I came across this one girl who taught me something very important for the rest of my teaching life.
I taught a small group in a language center. The kids were between 3 and 5 years old and her brother was in the same group. She was 3 and he was 5.
He was having the time of his life whereas his sister would just sit on a bench next to the wall, observing everything. Never spoke a word, never participated in anything, no singing, no dancing, no playing, no activities, nothing.
I would have started to doubt myself if there hadnt been her brother who (according to mum) absolutely loved the classes and can't wait to come back the next week. So after a few weeks of this I kind of gave up on her (I know I know, I was still young and didn't know any better!) and I told the mother that maybe it's better for her to find another teacher. Maybe she doesn't like me, maybe she just didn't "click with me", I didn't know what to do with her and I felt bad for the mum to pay for classes that don't have any benefits for her daughter. Not only didn't she seem to learn anything but she also didn't seem to enjoy anything. She didn't smile once when she was in my class.
The mum refused, she said her daughter is enjoying the class and she would like to try a couple of more weeks and if then still nothing changes, we would talk again. Ok, no problem.
That night she went home and started speaking English to her family. During the family dinner she would tell her family that "this is a plate, this is a fork, this is an apple". The mum called me the next day and asked me what I had done to unblock the situation. I would have loved to take credit but I honestly couldn't tell her because I didn't do anything! My only explanation was that she maybe overheard our discussion at the door and understood that if she doesnt show that she is learning anything, she will not come back to the classroom. And since she really liked the class, she was ready to overcome her shyness.
After this event she still preferred sitting and observing, but she very slowly started to participate in one activity here and there, then two (always sitting next to me) and finally she would participate in the whole lesson. All I did was giving her the space she needed, not forcing her into anything (but once in a while a little nudge to say hey, wanna join? - but even that I didn't do a lot to not make them feel bad about having to say no nonstop).
So basically, she was sitting there all this time, needing the space - but still paying attention very closely.
Have you every heard of sensory overload?
Some children may not participate in your class because of sensory overload. And there are quite a few things you can do to help them.
Prepare the environment accordingly
1. Avoid essential oils or any particular smells (even perfume) in your classroom
2. Speak in a calm voice
3. avoid fluorescent light
4. avoid too much decoration on the walls or anywhere really (I know we all love to put posters and designs and lots of colours and stuff on the walls and while it looks fantastic it may actually not help children at all with their concentration and their focus)
5. prepare a quite space in your classroom where the child can retreat to (a place that is organized, no mess, no 500 things around them, calm light .. you get the idea)
6. brain breaks (have breaks where children can move - personally I like to have them stretch and do a couple of yoga poses here and there as well as breathing exercises)
So now that we have talked about ways to deal with children who don't want to participate, let's talk about how to deal with the rest of the class!
You may have kids in your class that notice that someone isn't participating and they will ask you why he or she can sit there and why they have to do xyz.
My experience generally is that kids wonder why one child is not participating. So I would explain to them honestly that sometimes someone needs time to have a look first and that's ok. It has nothing to do with them not liking the others or not liking the class, they still like you and they still like learning , but they do it in a different way. In my experience, when you tell them the truth they don't wonder much longer and continue with their own lives. But you have to make sure that the other child will still be included in one way or the other and not make him or her look like an outsider.
Even if a child is sitting and observing, it shouldn't make the other kids want to do the same - if your lessons are interesting. No child can resist a good game, a good song or a good story just because another child is sitting there observing. And chances are that even the observing child may feel a little itch to wanting to participate in an activity here or there as well ;).
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