Now the above picture is not quite something we'd like to see, isn't it? But truth is, when you are teaching very young learners you will come across children who will have a hard time to come to your class.
I know it's easy to feel like you are not doing your job right or that the child doesn't like you when that happens. That's at least how I felt most of the time at the beginning of my teaching career.
But it's important that you don't take his or her behaviour personally! In most cases it has nothing to do with you or your classes.
There are actually different causes as to why the child may cry, and you have very little to do with them.
Separation anxiety
Separation anxiety is a very common and natural cause. You have to remember that those little munchkins that come to your class may have never been away from their family until then (and especially after covid, lock downs, parents who work from home etc). All they know are their grown ups and friends and that's about it. It is very scary to suddenly be left alone with a stranger and other kids who are strangers, too (and maybe many of them). On top of all that, they don't even speak my language here! Is there actually a reason not to cry?
There are a few things though that you can do as a teacher to help the child to get more at ease.
First off, make sure everything is ok with the parents!!
Sometimes the parents have more problems letting go of their children than actually the children going into class (I'm a teacher and know how it should be done and yet, I had a hard time letting go! I think every mum can relate). The kids feel that. If you have a mum who takes 5 hours to say goodbye to their child or who lingers around, this will make the child believe that the mum doesn't trust this place so why should I?
- Work upfront with the parents. Explain to them that they have to talk to the child and tell them what's going to happen before they come to class (and no, not 5 minutes beforehand, but a few days beforehand). What I found very helpful was to send a letter home before class starts (with a picture of myself and the classroom) so that the parents can show it to the child BEFORE they actually come to class.
The letter is for the parents to inform them how things will work (when to be there, what to bring, what topic we will be working on etc and also a few tips on how to make things easier on their child.
I also like to include a little welcome card and a set of stickers for the child (and by the way, hey did you know, there is more of such stuff in our class, it's going to be fun!).)
- Educate the parents! Tell them it's better to have a short goodbye and also to maybe engage in certain routines before coming to class so that the child is more prepared.
Make the parents feel that their child is in good hands with you (see letter above). If they are not at ease with you, their child won't be either. Explain that crying may happen and that it is a very normal thing, but don't worry, usually as soon as the door closes the crying stops because there is so much to discover!
So even if your child cries and you feel like you want to give one more hug, or two or three ... you actually make it harder on the child to transition into the classroom fun. Keep it short and sweet.
Another mistake I've seen parents make is that they sneak off without saying goodbye.
Yes, maybe your child might be interested in all the new stuff and you may be happy that they are not crying (yet) and just sneak off, but imagine how the child feels when it turns around and the grown up is gone - just like that. No warning, just dropped off and I don't even know when or if they will come back and now they didn't even say bye! If that's not a reason to start crying ...
This is also something I'd prepare the parents for before coming to class beforehand.
Loveys or something from home
- I'd also allow the kids to bring their loveys. It makes it a lot easier on them if they have something familiar with them. If not their lovey, it can be something like a tissue or whatever reminds them of home and they can come back to whenever they feel like they miss home.
Meet them at the door
- As for my part, I'm always making sure that I meet the parents and the kids at the entrance to greet them. I go down to the child's eye level and while I'm all for immersion classes - yes, I do speak in their native language at the welcome to make them feel reassured. I make sure that they know that if they need something they can talk to me and I will understand. That takes away part of the anxiety.
Visible schedule
- In the class I have a schedule pinned to the wall with pictures so the kids can see what will happen today and when it's time for their grown-ups to come pick them up again. Those pictures rarely change as we want to build a routine that makes the kids feel like they are in a predictable environment and feel more at ease about what's to come. It lessens the anxiety and also behaviour problems in the long run.
So basically there would always be the circle time at the beginning, that never changes (however the activities within the circle time change more or less. There will be different songs, different words to learn etc), the circle time will always be followed up by a game, which will always be followed up by an activity, etc.
However the kind of games and activities obviously vary. If I ever have to change my routine, I would explain it to the kids in the previous lesson and tell them that "next time, we will go and have the lesson outside, so we will have to walk together to the garden and there we will xyz".
Distraction, distraction, distraction
- I personally found that distracting the child helps best when children that age cry. I'll give you one example of what my daughter's teacher did when she had her first day of school.
She started crying at the door when I told her goodbye and the teacher went down to eye level with her, took her hand and said oh wow look at those soft hands. And she started to stroke her hand and kept on stroking it, telling her how soft her hand is, while slowly getting up from her knees, and slowly leading her away to the inner classroom. That was my sign to wave goodbye and turn around and leave. My daughter was so confused about all this, that she totally forgot to continue crying and apparently she didn't cry again after I left. I just thought that was completely brilliant and I'll have to try that next year in my own classes!
An example of my classroom would be that I would give the child a hug (if they allow me), or hold their hand (if they allow me) or I simply go down to their eye level and ask them questions totally unrelated such as "what did you eat for lunch today? Oh wow, spaghetti? Those are my favourite!!! Did it have tomato sauce? ... and while talking, leading them away into the classroom where I can show them toys they can play with.
If you have a little classroom pet (anything from an ant farm, to snails to mice, guinea pigs ...) , that would work great. You can lead the child there to watch the pet, feed it, pad it ... I presume most of us don't have one, but it does work great (I used to have some snails for the kids to watch and they absolutely loved it) . But the point is ... distraction!
What are you doing in your classroom to help the little ones on the first days of English lessons?
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